Think I shoulda picked up guitar long time ago, feels nice having an instrument i can bring around with me wherever i go. And it’s nice being able to release some of the tension & anxiety I’m feeling through music, in a place where I haven’t been able to do so for years and years.
Not sure how many of you have read/ been following the news regards to the SOPA, but if our dear internet users in US aren’t able to do something about it soon, the internet is gonna be forever destroyed for all of us, because of the damned SOPA & PIPA. In short, what it is, is it give the US Dep. of Justice to “kill” any websites that supposedly has “copyright” materials. So you won’t get Google results for alot of the video sites out there - because they have copyrighted materials. You also won’t be able to post links to interesting clips of whatever it is you saw on TV/ in the movies/ etc. because it’s copyrighted. Basically, it mean’s you’re fucked and your life as a internet user is coming to an end. EVEN THOUGH YOU AREN’T ACTUALLY IN THE US. (because, the internet is a GLOBAL thing).
I don’t think it’s fair that a single country would be able to dictate what happens to the internet - but this is exactly what’s happening. You may think that it doesn’t affect you, but when sites start going down BECAUSE IT’S HOSTED IN THE US (as many are) you’ll realize how stupid the whole thing is. OH, and wikipedia (our favourite source of info) will probably DIE.
BTW, net users, if you haven’t heard, WIKIPEDIA, Boing Boing, and a buncha other sites will be blacking-out (ie. NOT THERE) come EST. 8am on the 18th of Jan 2012. That’s what it’s going to be like if SOPA were to pass.
“We are not nouns, we are verbs. I am not a thing — an actor, a writer — I am a person who does things — I write, I act — and I never know what I am going to do next. I think you can be imprisoned if you think of yourself as a noun.”—Stephen Fry (via randomitus)
Been trying to clear out some of my stuff before CNY, before I disappear to Brissie and decide (actually I’ve already decided) that I want to stay there.
I don’t feel like I belong here anymore - at least before I left there was a little part of the house that was mine. It wasn’t alot, didn’t give me any privacy, but it was still my spot in the house. Now, I’m just a passer by. Not that I really care, but it was just a thought.
Looking through my old stuff - it was surprisingly therapeutic ripping up some of the papers… and trashing old CDs.
But I guess the most interesting part of the “clean up” was looking through my previous works - the styles I grew out of, the drastic changes intrinsically that have affected my design & thought processes.
Looking through the writings was like stepping back in time and looking at myself - a lost soul trying to find something to hang on to but afraid of having to depend on others all at the same time, because the people that should have been there no matter what were never there.
Outside of that bubble, I’m glad I’ve gotten where I am today. Took awhile to get here, but the learning process, though painful, taught me alot.
This is the point where people would say they wouldn’t have changed anything if they could go back and live it out again. I won’t say that, because, given a chance, I might actually change many things. But I am grateful, that I’ve finally found somewhere that I can just be myself.
Been feeling this for a fair bit but never managed to articulate those feelings till now, after a little chat with a friend.
For the past year, I’ve always felt that, for some reason I couldn’t quite comprehend (till now, I guess), I feel more at home in Brisbane - a place I’ve only been in for the past 1.5 years - then I do in Singapore - where I was born, where I spent the largest chunk of my live so far. And some serious shit had gone down in Brisbane - yet I still feel safer there.
Finally figured out the reason though - I finally found somewhere that I could be me - not the me that’s trying to blend into a society where I didn’t belong in - but a me that was just ME - and actually blending into the society without trying. I don’t have to pretend to be another person when I’m in Brisbane - I don’t have to hide the crazy artist that I am behind a mask, suffocate my dreams and ambitions, or live up to anyone’s expectations. All I have to do is keep myself happy.
I’m not saying I don’t miss Singapore - all the wonderful friends I have here, helping keep me sane through out the years. But I’ve always lived in a different world - one which had to be hidden under an invisibility cloak, hidden from the world - and, as much as I love those wonderful friends, we’ve always been in a different world. You could see my world under it’s cloak, and you saw glimmers of it sneaking out - but you didn’t understand. And I don’t blame you. You watch me climb, you watch me soar - you watch me burn when I got too close to the sun. But you couldn’t do anything - you didn’t know how. When I crashed you were there to help me pick up the pieces, help put me back together again. But, I’ve found a place now, where I don’t have to hide that beautiful bubble that is my world under a cloak - I’ve planted it, let it bloom - and it’s become part of the landscape now. A part of me has taken root in Brisbane - and it’s growing. The people I’ve met there - they live in that world - and they understand. They climb the mountains with me, soar with me, and reign me in when I get too close to the sun. They drop with me, and hang on to me before I crash. And I need that. And in Brisbane I’ve found that.
I feel safe thousands of miles away from “home” - because I finally belong some where. And I’m really thankful for that.
Just thinking about the past year - all things considered, even with all the ups and downs, the crazy moments, the freaky ones - 2011 was a good year. And it’s shown me that no matter what happens this year, I’ll be able to deal with it. Let’s face it - those who know me know that few things can be worse then what i managed to get through last year.
So, wishing everyone a happy 2012 and I’LL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!